This place is for people who aren't sure about the quality of his or her original character and wish for others to give constructive criticism for it. Anyone is welcome to submit either images and/or text (if the latter, a profile format is preferred) to be criticized, and it can be for any fandom.
PLEASE REMEMBER: We are not here to bash or insult the work presented, but give advice on how to improve.
In case you couldn’t tell
This blog has been dead for a while. A long while. Part of it is because I was in an emotionally draining situation not long after I started this. It hasn’t helped that I got a bit overwhelmed and I also happen to be a lazy asshole.
So feel free to unfollow me. When I do start something up like this again (probably won’t be for a while), I think I’m going to go about it differently and make the subject a bit more focused (I’m thinking of centering it on OCs from Valve games).
If you sent an OC in and it never got looked at, I’m very, very sorry. I feel like a jerk for that. If you still want me to look at an OC you sent in, please message me on my personal account and I will gladly do so.
Thank you to everyone who followed and were so positive towards this.
Vitka Dratshev
[sorry, it was just a quick sketch ^^;]
VITA [full name Vitka Dratshev]
age: 26
gender: female
species: human
weight // height: 135 lbs, 5’7
eyes: previously blue
skin: pale
hair: auburn
strengths / abilities : cooking, sewing, writing, comforts people very easily, senses the mood
weaknesses: science, fashion, finances, a very loud person and rather annoying, doesn’t think about her words before she says them
Vita, born as Vitka Dratshev, is 26 years old and comes from a Russian family. Her childhood was happy and normal, with both parents living. Her mother later died of Leukemia after Vitka graduated. Vita moved away from her home at the age of 19, and lost contact with her father. She took up the name “Vita”, meaning “life”, dropping the K from her name in her mother’s honor. She moved to America where she legally changed her name to Vita.
Residing in Seattle [can be changed], she got a starter job, getting a little over 20k a year. She got minimal health insurance, and later that year came down with a sickness, called corneal opacity. She contracted such a disease from travelling, resulting in infection in her eyes. With such cheap health insurance, and not wanting to live with two eyes which were essentially broken, she went to a hospital and got her eyes removed for less than a quarter of the cost of getting the treatment necessary to help her eyes. She lives with two empty eye sockets, and while she is very self conscious about them, she has learned to live with it.
this is Juliya.
i remember doing little doodles last year of a timid looking girl and then decided to make a counterpart for her (that girl’s name was Soo) and then…JULIYA. iunno, here’s some info.
Height/Weight: 5” 10’ / 115 lbs
Age: 19
Hair/Eye colour: Blonde/warm blue
Likes: Exercise, being outdoors, warm/sunny weather, fruits/vegetables.
Dislikes: Meat, rainy weather, wasted time (i.e. time without moving around, being productive).
Bio: Juliya’s mother left for and promptly disappearing into the city when she was a young age, and she was taken care of by her father most of her life, out on his farm. She was home-schooled and didn’t have any friends her age. Her favourite person was her Aunt, someone she saw as a mother for her. When she was old enough to go to high school, she moved in with her aunt in an apartment in the city. Made a close friend named Soo. They were both polar opposites, but got along just fine. Got a part time job to pay for her personal expenses, although her aunt would slip in some money for her without Juliya knowing. After graduating high school, she attended a local college that was between her father’s farm and her aunt’s apartment. Guiltily moved in with Soo in a small apartment near the college.
Personality: Juliya is an independent person. She’s always trying to do things for herself, without any help. She gets guilty very easily if she takes from someone, although can be extremely selfish without realizing it in certain instances. Sometimes (all the time), she’ll try to ‘work off’ a bad feeling by doing strenuous physical work (when she moved into Soo’s apartment, she offered to lift all the heavy boxes, and told Soo to “Go…eat something”). When she’s peeved, she’ll make no real effort to hide it.
Generally my OC’s tend to be a little empty on the insides, so i really need third-partyish opinions to see what to tweak on their info. Also i’m sorry for the green in the text (took it off the dA submission description orz) and the odd anatomy.
Thank you! :D
My Female Scout, Jae
I’ve decided I have finally made a decent design for my female TF2 OC. I wish for any criticism on anything of Jae, although I may not necessarily change it. I know the picture has both RED and BLU, but she’s BLU. I just wanted to see what she’d look like as RED.
Now please excuse my horrible MS Paint-ing and drawing. xD Jae probably looks like, ten. xD I’m not the best artist around, sadly. Oh well.
I LOVE ALL OF YOU WHO HELP ME MAKE HER A BETTER OC. :D
Name: Jae Kim (Korean)
Age: 17
Country of Origin: New Jersey, United States.
Weapon choices: Force-A-Nature; Winger; Bat.
Class: Scout.
Type: Offensive.
Height: 5’, 4”.
Weight: 125 lbs
Speed: 125%
Health: 126 / 185 with extra heal
Alliance: BLU
Motto: “…I’m going to break your face.”
Personality: Funny, usually kind, does not particularly enjoy to kill people. She’s very cool-tempered, sometimes sarcastic (that’s where her motto comes in), does her best to be understanding, is very confident, and is the type that can easily admit it if she’s wrong.
Reason for joining RED/BLU: As a little girl, Jae had been bullied a tremendous amount. Her father had taught her to fight against them, to run when needed, to defend herself. Though as she grew up, her mom and dad had become sickly. With those attributes and a need to bring in some money for her parents, she discovered BLU. They paid a wonderful sum of money, and so she took the job.
Sorry I haven’t been very active
My weekend was actually busy for once and I just started playing Borderlands, so that has been eating a lot of my time. If you haven’t yet received concrit from me, do know that I fully intend to do so!
Thanks for your patience!
Yeah it’s a totally ~*KAWAII*~ pose lol, but this is the last time I drew a fully body pic of her in a while where you can see her entire body.
I mainly want critique on her personality, I will take critiques on her appearance of course :) but since she is my main character I don’t want her to be too much like me and too special mary-sue and I don’t even notice it because she is my favorite haha. Please feel free to suggest traits you feel I should add or subtract from her.
A couple things I WILL keep about her, despite the cliches and junk because I love them about her are: Her big boobs and the eyelashes
You are free to disagree of course! :)
This is my personal character from my own personal story. My story does not have a title yet or even a story line, all it is, is a setting and a bunch of concepts so at this time ALL of my characters are open to remodeling. The story takes place on a Earth-like planet were all the monsters, people and objects from mythologies exist. The continents, lifespans of people and the names of the months and days are different, but it’s basically a not-so-technologically-advanced regular Earth.
Sorry if this is a little TL;DR .__.
(Some information may be missing due to the still in-development physical planet and in-progress story)
Name- Mayla Kajiko
Hair color- Light brown
Eye color- Lime green
Age- 328 (kitsunes live to be 1000 years)
Gender- Female
Species- Kitsune
Nationality- Inarian(asian)/(french)
Place of Birth- Inari (an asian-like continent)
Height- 5’5
Weight- 180+ lbs.
Body Type- Curvy and chubby, big boobs/hips/butt (the pic above is before I had decided to chunk her out, yes don’t worry she IS chubby!), disfigured feet (3 toes instead of 4) Star Sign- Scorpius
Family~
Mother’s name- Urena Odakuhime (alive)
Fathers name- Sintan Kajiko (alive)
Sibling(s)- Keitaro Kajiko (infant brother, alive)
Details of birth and family- Born inside Kykatchu clan territory, belongs to the ‘White Fire Clan’ as well.
(White Fire Clan is the father’s blood-line family. Kykatchu Clan is basically a ‘sheltered women’s’ clan for kitsune women, her grandmother was the one who joined the clan, by tradition their daughters must be apart of the clan as well.)
Occupation~
Type of Work- Assistant sword forger
Special Skills- Sword forging (for now, it’s all I can think of)
Beliefs ~
Religion or spiritual path- Believes in the Goddess Inari
Ambitions/Goal in Life- Wants to leave her country and explore the Greek world. Also wants to see a (western-style) dragon.
Other Philosophies- Believes that a woman’s purity (virginity) is the most precious thing a woman can have and should only give herself to the man she allows to have it. She is less harsh on men than a regular woman would be, she understands that men have a unique and simple take and life and -tries- to see things from their point of view. (she is open to both male and female opinions of the world, so that she can find a balance and fair view on life) She is very humane and believes all species are equal. Believes women can be as strong a valiant as men.
Personality~
Personality- Child at heart, patient, naive(about many things) , tries her best to be understanding, open minded, respectful, curious. Unlike most lead characters, Mayla does not have absolute fool-proof morals or values that others can learn from, rather other people teach her the lessons in life and she learns and grows from them. She can be proven wrong, disappoint others and makes mistakes. She doesn’t have her own dream yet so she strives to help others achieve their dreams along the way while finding her own.
Motivations- She wants to prove herself to be a strong woman and earn her own respect, wants to find her purpose in life and her own dream.
Weaknessess or Flaws- Being naive(biggest flaw), being self conscious about her body/weight, can’t cook
Strengths- Humanity and kindness, always sees the good things in life What causes Happiness- Family, friends, chocolate, cute things, learning about the Greek world, dragons
What causes Anger- Mean people, inhumanity
What causes Fear- Spiders, the dark
Lessons to be learned- To learn that the world and people are not always good, but to keep being good for the sake of protecting the ones who lead honest lives
Favorites~
Color- Red
Food- Chocolate, junk food drink- Carbonated drinks (coke) Hobby- Reading books about the greek world, helping her teacher forge swords
Extas~
Abilities- Bloodline trait called ‘Whitefire’
Back story- Teased when she was younger because of her weight and disfigured feet, she was a bit of a sheltered child by her slightly over-protective but loving father, normal loving family, could have been a bit of a brat(?) (basic normal childhood) Present story-(incomplete) Querks- When she hugs someone too hard she smothers them in her boobs (but does NOT keep them there like “LOL WHAT ARE YOU SQUIRMING FER?” she lets them go right away), can have a slightly perverted humor, she hold objects (sometimes people) close to her heart when she is upset, tends to sometimes think too deeply about certain objects/people/animals/etc
That’s it for now, I hope you can bare all that read and I’m sorry for the wall of text. »’ I also hope the whole spreadsheet isn’t too huge, hitting the enter button makes the text jump down more that I’d want it to…
Thank you! :)
Name: Ky-Lee
Age: 37
Place of Origin: South Korea
Job: Selective Medicine
Motto: “Anything a man can do, a woman can do better.”
Class: Medic
Bio:
Ky-Lee is the only child to her parents. They raised her to believe that a woman’s place is at home: cooking, cleaning, and raising children. She didn’t want that lifestyle…
..so she defied them and attended Pusan National University to obtain her medical license. While attending, she was often told that no one would take her seriously.
After getting her license, she opened a small clinic for those who couldn’t afford treatment. Some time later, while her father came to see her for treatment, her clinic was attacked. Her father lost his life protecting his daughter, who only got a cut on her cheek from it.
His final words still haunt her (and somewhat fuels her rage) to this very day: “You… are an embarrassment to our family.”
—-
Gets along well with Spy and Sniper, but has a problem with Solider and Heavy.
“You both are too loud!”
She knows just enough English to get her point across, but slips back into Korean when upset/in battle or during a procedure.
—-
In her down time, she prefers to read, listen to Korean opera on her record player, and keep her office and operating room clean.
There are times where she shows some demented pleasure out of seeing blood, but it’s rare. She tends to be cold towards anyone she’s healing (a side effect of the incident at her former clinic) and during this time, it’s best not to disturb her.
—-
In battle, she sometimes uses her feminine charm to lure unsuspecting enemies to her aid, only to attack them with a small scalpel she keeps in her coat.
(Yes, this OC is mine. She can be found on dA here.)
Forgive me for posting this on occoncrit, but I feel it’s important to spread what is going on and gain more support for what these people are doing.
(via thedailymeme)
Alan McGregor, the Ace of Diamonds
I think I’ve got Alan pretty well made, but it never hurts to get a few more opinions. Besides, maybe somebody might actually be interested in this hodgepodge I call a story.
The setting of my RP is a world where, mysteriously, many people gained abilities beyond those of normal people overnight. Those who gained these powers were referred to as Lambdas. A good deal of those who turned, in the wake of riots and looting after they did so, banded together in gangs to somewhat protect themselves from repercussions of the law, fuck the police, that sort of thing. Enter my mafioso themed OC.
Alan McGregor built up a crew known as the Diamonds, a section of a larger gang he co-founded called the Cards. As the founder and the Don, he gave himself rank as Ace and allotted ranks of other cards (ie. Nines, Jacks, etc). His ability as a Lambda is telepathy, being able to read and control the minds of others. However, to ever establish an initial psychic link, he needs direct eye contact with his target. Therefore, one of his weaknesses is someone wearing sunglasses or any other kinds of obscuring eyewear. He’s armed with a revolver and a butterfly knife for when his telepathy isn’t a viable option, but he’s not the best shot and his knife is mostly for showy tricks. Quite a few things about Alan add up to showy tricks, in fact. For example, he puts on a stereotypical New York accent and acts like a tough mafia boss, despite the fact that he’s really a guy from Jersey who likes noir styled mobster movies.
At the beginning of the RP, the Diamonds were the biggest gang in New York, but lately they’ve had to start over again after federal agents tried bringing them down. This hasn’t terribly deterred Alan from trying to be the archetypical ‘big man’ he built up for himself in his head. He still works on supplying anyone with a few extra bucks with some contraband or other illicit items, trying to claw his way back to the top.
The guy’s a bit short, standing at 5’8” at 22 years old and slightly on the chubby side. In fact, in the RP, he was diagnosed as being diabetic. He’s also got quite the temper when it comes to business. He’s skilled in running numbers and calculating economics, but with the state of some of his plans, it seems like mathematics was the only class he ever payed attention to. Lastly, he’s kind of a horndog. The guy shoots off dirty jokes and innuendo pretty regularly. He tries to keep himself under control, but sometimes he can’t help it.
So that’s pretty much the entirety of my character. I’d like to see what you have to say in regards to Alan. I know he’s not perfect and a lot of things seem out of place, but it at least feels like a lot of things make sense in context while I play him. Thanks for the input.
Anonymous asked: Question, will any OCs we submit end up on the blog?
Generally yes, since the idea is to receive concrit from multiple people to get well-rounded advice on the character, but you are also welcome to send in ones that I can reply to personally. If you do this, please make it apparent in the very beginning of the submission. This probably won’t be an option for really specific fandoms (such as Homestuck, I don’t know a thing about it!), but I’ll give concrit to the best of my ability.
